Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
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my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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