So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
