Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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