Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
