hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
