Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
