My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
