I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize