This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
