Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
