I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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