i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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