ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
