Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
