when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
