sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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