i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
