omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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