Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
