You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
