i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
