My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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