is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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