Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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