Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize