don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
