it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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