you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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