He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
