What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
