Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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