I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
