strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize