69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
