pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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