I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have fence marks all over my body
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
