No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
