I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
