just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
