lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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