Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
