with your own penis?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
