in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
