He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
dude. I can hear the air.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
