escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
