I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize