I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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