Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
