Plan B is the new Plan A
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
