Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
