He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
