Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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