I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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