I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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