brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
