What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
