apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
